Fears.....Fact or Fiction?

I wrote in part about this a while back, maybe it was a random thought in something else, 0r maybe it is just in my head. Well I'm feeling typey this morning so what the hey, few good things rattled through my head and gave me some insights.

I'm often asked what my biggest fear is. Well for those that know me, there isn't any easy answer, so here's the ADHD over done answer...I don't have a biggest fear. There is just a plethora of smalls ones that sometimes join forces to create something else entirely.

One thing I do not fear is death in the traditional sense. A few weeks ago I had quite a scare, but after the initial shock of it all, lots of things made sense. Death on it's own is nothing to fear because we never know when it is going to happen. Death is the debt that all of us have to pay and there's no guaranteed repayment date. The part of death that scares me is that one day I'll just be gone and some people won't notice.

Now the barebones definition of life is what we do between the time we are born and the time we die. Somewhere in there is a fear, I don't fear death but I fear wasted life. I've had a pretty good run with life so far, but I always fear the day that I wake up and realize I should've done so much more. Now I have done some crazy things in life, both good and bad, and some people have done some pretty awful things to me. That doesn't define my life, it just adds to the story.

I fear the world is going down the drain and we are all just doing our part to aid in that. Confused on that one yet? It'll all make sense. None of us want to world to go down the drain, but the powers that be, whoever they are, thrive for the chaos of it all. I feel people this day in age are way to easily manipulated and part of it is out of choice. It's like some want to hear what they want to hear, regardless if there is any truth to it. Look back a few years, random news at the beginning of covid, everyone has to stock up on toilet paper! I have never seen humanity fall so flat on its face than that. Every news outlet just lives for that stuff. Flip to this channel and we'll give you our opinion of what to do! That's manipulation at its finest, someone telling you what you want to hear so they can control you. I fear the sheep that don't actually know how to live.

I don't fear change but I always fear people telling me how to change or what to change. Sure there are some things I should change but I'm on my own deadline with most of it. Nobody else should dictate how you change, you have to do it for you and only you. That's where that enlightened happy comes from. Set a goal, reach it, rock it, love it.

I fear the ordinary, mondain, routine existence that we all seem to be destined for. Wake up, coffee, breakfast, drive, work, work, work, drive, dinner, sit, sleep, and repeat. That scares the crap out of me, we shouldn't be robots set on a daily routine and feel it's normal, we aren't Roomba's. Sure some find supreme bliss in doing the same thing over and over everyday, but here's the kicker to that, what happens when something else happens? It throws a wrench in everything you thought you knew doesn't it? Don't be afraid to step outside your comfortable box and live some life.

That one right there kinda hits me because I'm almost 42, so if I'm lucky, half my life is over. On the bright side I still have half my life left. The point to all of that is, learn from the first half of your life so you don't repeat it in the second half. I had a lot of different routines over the years and for a long time I forgot how to live.

Now this topic was pretty much out of the blue with zero planning or anything. I just get an idea in my head and roll with it. The whole reason I started writing these was for a form of personal therapy to just let my brain run wild for a bit and maybe convey a few things. Ultimately it is up to you to figure out your own fears in life. Right them down, pros and cons, graph it all out, whatever you have to do to comes to terms with them. One of the biggest things is don't let your fear dictate someone else's path, and don't let their fear dictate yours.

-Peace