Braining, The Infinite Roundabout.

Has anyone else ever felt like their brain is copying National Lampoon's European Vacation? "Hey look kids, there's Big Ben, and there's Parliament... again". Our brains are our greatest gifts and the worst curse we could ever perceive. How do we keep them as gifts? Hell if I know, I'm open to suggestions....

I have been blessed/cursed with a brain that is something else. Throw in the ADHD and it has the ability go in circles like Clark Griswold trying to get out of that damn roundabout. I don't have the ability to forget things, anything, except for where my everyday carry stuff is. Not only do I remember everything, I remember every detail of it. The shitty thing is that it is stuck in my own Dewey Decimal System, I just lost everyone born in this millennium. Old school library filing system just in case anyone is wondering. I have the ability to go back to damn near every conversation I have ever had and pick it apart on a psychological level. Voice tones, hand movements, agitation factors, and anything else there is. It's a blessing and a curse.

The new asshole at work has a way of making the ability jump to the foreground of everything, he likes to tell people that I am hard to work with. I am not hard to work with in the slightest, I am hard to lie to and that drives him nuts. He's pretty much managed to turn everyone against me, not from a fault of my own, but because I call him out on all the issues in his "plan". Narcissism 101, when you're at fault, create a common enemy. Enter Matty B, common enemy #1.

I try not to let this get to me because I've tried giving him all the rope to hang himself, but he managed to flip that noose around my neck. If his "plan" is so sound, why is no part of it working? Blame Matt cause he'll take it personal and get defensive like he actually is at fault.

Now how does this factor into the rest of life? I take way too much work brain home with me everyday. Most people go home and dive into homelife as a distraction. Me, on the other hand, live for work and get to go home to my empty house that is full of the thoughts from that day. How do I fix the place? How to I make work communication better? How can I design the the perfect product? Short answer is, you can't when everyone else enjoys being a sheep in a dying plan. I am not a sheep and I never will be. I am overly passionate about everything and that is probably my greatest flaw. I build up a perfect scenario in my head, present it to people, and it's never good enough, because it goes against the "plan".

Now translate that to my life in general, I strive for a life that I don't have to overthink about but then I find myself overthinking about it. I make my therapist glitch because I tell her everything she is going to tell me, but I put it in human words.

Where this started, where it went, and what it turned into is beyond me. I didn't have my normal head full of ideas when I started typing, I just typed. If it made sense, welcome to my brain. If it didn't make sense, welcome to my brain. The endless roundabout of passionate hope that is lost on the masses of sheeple.

If you find yourself spinning out of control, well stop it. Hahahah.

-Peace!