A Little Monday Q&A.

So then, some of this stuff is taking off a little bit and some is falling on deaf ears. Cool and oh well all at once I guess. This is a project for me and the fact that it might be helping others, well that's just a bonus.

I've gotten quite a few questions as of late, either people I know or emails from people I don't know. So I figure, drumroll please, time for a Q&A. Now this will be a little long because there are more than a few and I write novels as answers.

1. What made you start therapy?

Well right into the thick and heavy on this one I guess. I had been thinking about it for years and years but never said fuck it, always did the guy thing of ignoring it. Well I ignored it for too long and a lot built up until it finally popped. I'd keep on my own little island and deal with everything on my own as it came. That worked out great for decades, well I think, but even if you think you deal with it, it never really goes away. I kept hearing the "man up" or "be a man" from people and it wasn't until recently that I started wondering about that. I was kind of grasping at reality and clinging to something that wasn't even there and it seemed like a pattern that kept repeating. Once I realized that I was the only one that could break that pattern, I took the leap and it is great.

2. How often do you have therapy?

When I started it all, it was five days a week and my therapist was kind of on-call if I kept trying to fix things that couldn't be fixed. Basically if I was overthinking and overreacting, there was a copay on my shoulder telling me to stop it. Now I am down to a few days a week if I need it. I went five days a week for a month and towards the end of that routine we were pretty much just shooting the shit. I actually started to have fun with it, I started subtly acting like the therapist. My therapist even said "wow, you are really good at this!" That's when I knew I could taper off without causing any damage.

3. What's your biggest fear?

Well shit, which one? My biggest irrational fear is.....avocados, seriously they scare the shit out of me. My biggest actual fear would have to be, dying alone and nobody realizing I'm gone. I did a blog post about this a few weeks back and it's a real fear. I could get out of bed too fast one day and something could just go pop, different from the pops that every joint in my body makes in the morning. Heart could say, nah, brain could go, nope, or anything else that makes it all tick, could blow a cog and lights out. I don't fear death itself, we have a working relationship, I fear fading away unnoticed. It is better to burn out than to fade away but I want look for me if I go missing.

4. If you had superpowers what would they be?

Well this one kind of proves I need some sort of age filter on these things. Well people already refer to me as Tony Stark but that's not a superpower, that's just being smart. If I had actual powers, hmmm, they wouldn't be what you expect. I don't need razer claws, the ability to read minds, or the ability to change the weather, well let me rethink that last one a bit. I would like the ability of regenerative healing, like Wolverine but minus the fancy skeleton, the razer claws and I would like a time limit on the whole thing. Here's the kicker, I'd also want the ability to heal people, not to pass along the trait or anything, but like hey here's a reboot. You can walk again, your cancer is gone, and stuff like that. Don't need money, fame, or any of that, just pop in and discreetly do my thing and bounce. Make everyone think they are a walking miracle.

5. If you had three wishes what would they be?

Yeah again with the age filter. This one will be quick.

Our pets live as long as we do.

Knock the government back down to where they need to be. Elected officials, not sworn in gods.

Party with Lou Reed, David Bowie and Warren Zevon, gotta have some fun with it.

6. Where do you see yourself in 5, 10, 20 years?

Well good question and it's one I don't spend a lot of time thinking about. I have goals but they aren't spelled out by time. I don't want the expectation of having to live up to goals and the crushing blow if I don't meet them.

Within 5 years or so I'd like to not have a boss anymore. I mean I'm 40 already, I'm on track to retire in 20 or so years, I don't want the last 20 years of work to be the same grind. They say if you love your job you never work a day in your life, well currently, I work my fucking ass off. Overall that's the main goal in life, then again someone to share it all with that isn't crazy would be nice too.

7. How many damn job titles do you have?

Haha yeah I wear a lot of hats at work and in life.

At work; Electrical engineer, mechanical engineer, R&D, IT, service, tech support, manual machinist, welder, assembly, testing, mechanic, and probably a few more I forgot. I completely run the tech side of the company, I deal with everything electrical from designing the panels to writing the code to make them work and so on. The great thing about every hat I wear, I didn't go to school for hardly any of it. I do have a degree in machining, it was more CNC and I hate CNC machining. If I want to learn something, I do. I mean I started out welding at home when I was 12 or something. I used to take apart everything and rewire it from the time I was 4-5? I worked as a mechanic for years and I grew up with the mentality, "if you can make it, you don't need to buy it."

At home is the same thing but they call me the local hardware store/fix it spot. I haven't come across much of anything I can't fix, given enough time.

8. How are you to work with? Are you the teaching kind or not so much?

Very good one there. I am an oldish stubborn, Norweigan/German so there's that. I've always had the ability to teach what I know but there's always a lack of people to listen. Yes I am a little brash about it all but that's how I learned things. Knowledge was never spoon fed to me, I had to earn it. Now I can teach a monkey to write code, I just need to find a way to relate the material. I could teach an 8 year old physics, same rules apply. It takes two things for me to teach someone anything.

1. The knowledge to teach.

2. Someone to teach that wants to learn.

Finding people that want to learn is the tricky thing and a lot of times it's just a waste of time. I've worked in several industries over the years and new people walk in just thinking they know everything. Well son I'm gonna drop some knowledge on you, I don't care what your degree says, work for it. All a degree says to me is that you know how to take a test. You can spend a decade in school but have zero real world experience to back it up. I'd hire someone that has been busting their ass for a decade over someone that is riddled with college debt that they think makes them smart.

9. Do you have pets?

Again, great question but hmmm. I don't have any pets, I'm the crazy pet uncle. I have four neighbor dogs at home, Diezel, Maddie, Maybelle, and Knox. I spoil the shit out of them and then they go home. Maddie always makes sure I get home safe from our weekly neighborhood meeting. Diezel always knows when I have a bad day. Maybelle really likes the sound of her own bark. Knox smiles like a mofo. Best neighbor dogs ever. At work I have upwards of seven dogs. Frank, Fin, Goose, Surly, Thea, Izzy, and Bailey. I'm not going to go into all their details but they all love treats and they sound of their bark.

10. What's the main problem in the world right now?

Of course I had to save this one for last. Main problem, which one? The main problem in the world right now is people. I wrote a blog about this too. Yeah I know that is vague but I'm not wrong. We are at a point in time where everyone thinks they are right about everything and they are entitled to feel that way. Am I right at everything? Fuck no, I'll be the first one to admit that. I also don't shut down other peoples ideas, I can have a conversation with anyone. If they try to force their view on me, conversation over. Everyone wanted to be in an individual but then bitching because you aren't like them, I mean seriously. Everything in this country is out to pit people against people. News, Media, Politics, Religion, and everything else under the sun. News, media, and politics love it, it's ratings. All they do is point fingers at the other side and blame them. Then eventually they switch sides and start over. Humanity loses. Senseless violence, killing, racism, and it's all pointless. Strip away everything down to our DNA, guess what? We are all human and we deserve to be treated as such. I don't care what color, race, religion, preference, pronoun or anything else you are. I care about three things; How you treat your pet, how you treat your server and if you use your fucking blinker!